Marriage Counseling

You said these vows before God, family, and friends…

I, Mark, take you Mary as my lawfully and spiritually wedded wife.
I promise to forsake all others and cleave only to you.
I promise to love, honor, comfort, and spiritually build you up.
I take you from this day forward for better or worse in riches and in poverty in sickness and in health till death do us part.

I promise, I promise, I promise… lies, lies, and lies.

Demonstrating his love for you used to come easy.

Hugs and kisses were shared for no reason at all.

He used to check in on you every day with no reservations. Texts used to light up your phone throughout the day.

“FaceTime sessions used to make my day.”

When did the affection die? What happened to the promises? How did you get here?

Your fairytale life has become a living nightmare.

Money Problem Challenge: The stress of fighting over money makes up one of the most often cited marriage problems that couples face.

Issues with Children’s Challenges: Children can bring another potential source of stress and marriage problems. Children are wonderful and can bring meaningful gifts into our lives, but having children can bring additional stress into marriage because caretaking requires more responsibility and a change in roles, providing more fodder for disagreement and strain. Introducing children into your marriage also reduces the time available to bond as a couple. This combination can test even the strongest of bonds.

Daily Stress Challenges: Daily stressors don’t need to equal marriage problems, but they can exacerbate existing problems. When one partner has had a stressful day, they may be more likely to be impatient when they get home, handle conflict less expertly, and have less emotional energy to devote to nurturing their relationship. When both partners have had a hard day, this, of course, is magnified.

Poor Communication Challenges: Perhaps the biggest predictor of marriage problems is poor communication or negative communication that belies damaging attitudes and dynamics within the relationship.

Negative communication is so damaging.

Marriage is not easy. It can be the most wonderful institution in life, but it can also be wrought with challenges. Joining two lives together is not an easy process for many. Years of living alone can make each person very set in their ways and uneasy about everyday habits. Even simple changes like when or how to do laundry and dishes can create confusion and disagreement. Each person comes into the relationship with certain expectations and values, which their spouse does not always share. It can be very difficult when your spouse does not live up to how you have always dreamed of your marriage looking.

Help using The Gottman Method…

The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couples’ relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory.

At Encouraged Counseling Services, we use the Gottman Approach in addressing the marriage. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.

Couples who enter Gottman Method Couples Therapy begin with an assessment process that informs the therapeutic framework and intervention.

Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and the creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions and to repair past hurts. Interventions designed to increase closeness and intimacy are used to improve friendship, deepen emotional connection, and create changes that enhance the couples’ shared goals. Relapse prevention is also addressed.

There’s still love that’s worth fighting for.

Are you willing to put in the work?

You know your marriage is not what it used to be, and you know it can be better.

Reclaim the love, respect, and admiration you both used to share.

Call today for a free 15-minute consultation: (312) 600-7364.